Do you find yourself with the sneaking suspicion that your boyfriend likes another girl? Do you just keep wondering, Does my boyfriend like my friend or does my boyfriend like his friend? If you are driving yourself to distraction with these thoughts it might be time to sit down and take an evidence inventory to help you decide if you need to ask him if he wants someone else. Consider the following situations and decide if you are being insecure or if your boyfriend is overstepping some boundaries.
Does your boyfriend text/call/email his friend (or your friend) more than he communicates with you? Does he share more sensitive thoughts/ problems with them?
Does he cancel plans with you to be with her or does he rush to support her when she is upset/ has a breakup/ or is bored?
Does your boyfriend still go on dating sites and say it is “just for fun?”
Does he exclude you from conversation when she is there and/or make fun of you or criticize you in front of her?
Does he frequently find excuses to be alone with her?
Do you frequently find out that they have talked or have been hanging out from other people or from Facebook, rather than from him (or your friend)?
If you answered yes to any of these questions it might be time to confront your boyfriend about his intentions toward this friend and tell him that you feel his behavior is disrespectful to your relationship. Regardless of whether he admits that he is interested in his friend, you have the right to point out the behavior that you find inappropriate and discuss if he is willing to modify his friendship or take greater care to include you. Further, it may be time to confront your friend as well. If it is your friend with whom your boyfriend is behaving inappropriately she needs to know she has hurt your feelings/ is not meeting your expectations for the friendship.
There are a few things to consider before you make an accusation that your boyfriend wants to be with someone else. First, many people have platonic friendships with people of the opposite sex. The ability to do so is a good sign that your boyfriend has his libido and his boundaries in check. Having a mature, platonic friendship with a female can even help your relationship with your boyfriend because he has access to a female perspective. He can learn a lot about how to be a good boyfriend by listening to her talk about her good and bad experiences with men. However, if you feel that your boyfriend is pushing the limits of your boundaries with behaviors and communication that you feel are inappropriate then you need to confront him and clarify your expectations immediately. Remember, even if he is comfortable with the type of friendship he has with this person it does not mean that you have to be.