Every relationship reaches a point when you will start wondering either, does my boyfriend want to marry me, or why does my boyfriend not want to marry me? How you frame this question depends a lot on how far along you are in the relationship and how open your boyfriend is to discussing the question of marriage. There are pages of Internet discussion about these questions and even an online, does my boyfriend want to marry me quiz to help figure out this life changing sentiment. There are dozens of books devoted to the subject, outlining ways to convince your boyfriend to propose. Ultimately, you either have to ask him outright or you need to do a bit of investigating to determine if the idea of marriage has even entered the picture. The following are a few guidelines to determine if your boyfriend is the marrying kind.
How does he react when you make long-term plans like vacationing together months from now or attending an event a year off?
Does he get excited and start daydreaming/ providing input or does he balk and say he can’t commit to something that far off?
If your boyfriend sees himself with you for the year(s) to come chances are he is moving toward a serious commitment like marriage. If however, he seems reluctant to make plans with you it may indicate either a fear of commitment in general or lack of commitment to your relationship specifically.
Does he include you in his family events and is he excited or does he expect to be included in your family events?
If your boyfriend is happy that you get along with his sister or mother and enjoys hanging out/ visiting with your family chances are he is thinking about your relationship long term. If he shuns family events and keeps you at a distance from his family or keeps his distance from your family it may indicate a desire to keep the relationship on a more surface level.
How does he react when his friends/ your friends get married? Divorced?
Not everyone loves attending weddings but if your boyfriend rolls his eyes and comments on the ridiculousness of the expense of something that has a 60% failure rate, he may not be the marrying kind.
On the contrary, if he is enthusiastic about the commitment and/or seems genuinely disappointed when people divorce he probably takes marriage seriously and is someone who is interested in getting married.
If you find that a lot of the responses to these scenarios are negative, it may be that your relationship is not heading toward the altar. Having said that, if you are ready to commit to marriage and you feel your boyfriend is not based on these signs and more, it is better to simply ask him in a straightforward manner than to pine and wonder and worry. If your goal is to find a partner and marry then it is better to determine if your boyfriend simply needs a little more time to build up the courage to make that commitment or if you are wasting your time. You do not have to wait and wait and wait and hint endlessly while he makes all the decisions. You are allowed to have an opinion and a goal of working toward marriage. If you come to a point where you are unsure where the relationship is heading, it is best to discuss your concerns openly rather than waste years thinking he is going to propose only to be seriously disappointed.