There comes a time in most people’s lives when they begin to reflect on past relationships or wonder about the future of their current relationship. Whether it is right after a break up, after a series of relationships, or after finding that special someone, at some point you wonder, does my ex-boyfriend miss me? Even if you are in an active relationship you may wonder, does my boyfriend miss me when he is away or does my boyfriend love me anymore? You may have even taken an online, does my boyfriend still like me quiz to help quell your inner doubts. These questions and reflections are a normal part of growing and understanding your past, your patterns and in wondering about your future.
However, there is a point when these musings and wondering turn to worrying and anxiety and it is important to be aware when you have moved past a healthy curiosity and into an unhealthy state. There are a few guidelines to recognizing when these thoughts about your current or past relationship are moving toward obsession.
Warning Signs for a Current Relationship
You find yourself wondering, “does my boyfriend love me anymore or not love me anymore” multiple times during the day
You find yourself analyzing every conversation, voicemail or text message and/or text and call him all day just to make sure that he is still thinking about you
You find ways to manipulate him into telling you that he loves you and come up with scenarios to make him prove it
Warning Signs for a Past Relationship:
You find yourself wondering, “does my boyfriend want me back” throughout the day and keep close tabs on his activities or dating behavior
You are unable to date or maintain friendships because you make yourself totally available to meet him at a moments notice if he calls
You compare every new suitor to your ex and use him as a barometer for the “perfect match”
If you find that you are engaging in behaviors that cause you to dwell on the past or that make it difficult for you to enjoy your current relationship it may be time to re-evaluate your situation. Worrying about your relationship too much can destroy it and drive away your boyfriend with your constant need to be reassured. Dwelling on a past relationship can rob you of precious time you could spend either working on your own happiness and personal growth or that you could spend meeting new and dynamic people.
Recognizing these behaviors is the fist step toward making positive changes that allow you to live in the present and enjoy your life and your relationship. If you do find yourself obsessing or dwelling realize that identifying the problem is a huge step! Making changes in your behavior and seeking support if necessary is the next step toward a healthier, happier you.